Thank You Notes

As a kid, my mom would make me write thank you notes to everyone who got me a gift for my birthday. Pen in hand, I’d crank them out like it was a 9 to 5.

“Dear [whoever], thank you so much for getting me [some gift], I really appreciate it.” Put it in the envelope, licked that weird sticker above the flap, signed, sealed, delivered.

Fast forward a decade, and not much has changed, only now that formulaic note is going to alumni and professors instead of my grandparents.

Sending thank you notes is common practice after a coffee chat. In life, it's a conditioned response (shoutout PSYC 2700) to being given something. It’s second nature. 

But how often do you think about how you’re thanking someone?

I consulted my high school English teacher on this one, as he would discuss this often in class. His advice is as follows:

Be Specific: Identify exactly what it is you’re grateful for about that person. Offering precise details that “show” your gratitude is more memorable than simply “telling” the person you’re grateful.

Be Sincere: Syrupy language is off putting, especially from a relative stranger. Don’t overpraise, engage in disingenuous flattery, or feign enthusiasm. A smarmy note is worse than no note at all.

Be Short: Mark Twain wrote, “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.” For the sake of the reader, keep it brief. It shows you’ve written with care and you value their time.